Okay, this is a very heavy topic. Please ignore this post if you are not interested. (If will be a wordy post too) But I really want to blog out my view on this topic.
Just a quick summary, this post is talking about how time kills love and wedding. To me, this post is true as well as rubbish.
Yup. To a big extend I do agree one shouldn’t look for the material terms before thinking to get married. Most people out there will only considered getting married until both of their financial is stable. There is nothing wrong with it seriously, in a realistic world that we are living. Getting married without money sounds romantic but it is digging your own grave.It is just expensive to get married nowadays and most girls out there will want a romantic wedding. The more thing you want in weddings, the more you have to pay. Of course, I know you can loan these money from banks and trust me, unless the husband is willing to spend this money, if not it will become a future quarrel issue.
That’s why I got pissed to see someone shared the above essay. Love is not a one sided thing. When love cools down, it is never the fault of one party. Just like it takes two hands to clap, it takes two to maintain a relationship as well. I agree small quarrel is a way of communication but frequent big quarrels is an indication that there is a problems somewhere.
Woman always like to blame the man to love someone. I dun deny that as man are really visual animals in general but that doesn’t mean woman is totally right. When love start to cool down, woman must always heat it up. That’s why sometimes I purposely don’t learn how to cook. If a woman can do housework, cook and take good care of a man. You are nothing but his mum. You see you have a whole lifetime to do all these. Why quickly learned them all and master them? Man like woman with surprises, not woman who is predictable. That’s the reason even if I know how to do some things, I choose not to do them now. I always keep myself looking pretty when going out with Kk. This is self respect, woman please don’t give excuse to yourself not to look good for the sake of your family. You must always remember if you are not attractive anymore, there will always be other woman who sleep with your husband and replace your position.
Back to the wedding issue… The longer one is in a relationship, the less likely one will get married is just bullshit. To me, it is just an excuse for one party to tell you that I am sick of you. I am not someone who is supportive or against premarital sex. But I am against long term cohabit especially both parties do not have the intention of getting married in the near future (6 months). 3 months of cohabit should let both parties know if they are suitable to live with each other. Anything more becomes no different like married life, just that you do not need to divorce if one become sick of this life.
Kk and me dated 6 years before getting married. Actually I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to married him after 3 years dating. I didn’t really think of it because I was 22 year old then and I wasn’t ready to have the responsible as a wife. Kk respected me a lot and was always waiting for me. That’s his silent love for me though I always hope that he could be more caring and attentively but I think sometimes when I think about it. This is just another kind of love. It is not those passion love but if he doesn’t love me, he really do not need to wait for me. That’s why I dun agree being in relationship too long will be less likely to get married.
The one rule Kk and me agreed was not to cohabit, of course we still go and short trips but we never once cohabit because my family is traditional and believed good girls shouldn’t stay overnight. I respected my parents for this though I don’t agree. But when I look at things now, I think it is good because Kk will appreciate the time with me and now learning how to do things together is fun. We try to work things out and after one year of marriage, everything is still fine. It is our 7th year together but we always make an effort to watch movie whenever we can.
Sometimes, it is these simple things that work things out. When there is a problem, don’t run away. No problems will be solved if you run away. One cannot run away forever, don’t wait until it is too late then face the problem. Good luck to all poor souls.