Okay, this is a very heavy topic. Please ignore this post if you are not interested. (If will be a wordy post too) But I really want to blog out my view on this topic.
恋爱谈到什么时候才适合结婚
我们总是说，不结婚，我要等他什么都有的时候再嫁他。可是傻丫头，等我的有房有车有银子什么都有的时候，新郎可能就不是我了……
有一个朋友，已经和她男友跑了六年的马拉松，两人青梅竹，朋友们只等着他们结婚的喜讯。前几天她突然发消息说，其实她和他不久前分手了。如今她依旧单身， 而他，已经结婚半年，和一个只认识三个月的女孩儿。长达六年的感情抵不过三个月的感情，这世界还真是讽刺。
问她在一起时为什么不结婚，她说他总说自己还什么都没有，事业刚起步，给不了她富足的生活，想等一等，等他赚了大钱一定来娶她。
于是慢慢的，两个人都想着先不要结婚了，等条件成熟的时候再说。
可是日子久了，两个人会认为结婚不是为了爱情，而是承担责任。喜新厌旧是人性，时间太久了太长了，把爱情和激情都给磨掉了。这时候任何一个小小的借口，都能成为决然分手的理由。
分手后他遇到另一个女孩，她的新鲜点燃了爱情的火苗，星星之火足以燎原，灌溉着他枯竭已久的爱情，所以他仓促的决定结婚。
等到真的结婚后，爱情降了温，才慢慢的发现其实妻子的身上有着许多前任女友的影子。他比较爱的人其实还是前任女友，可是他娶的却不是她。
我见过他现在的妻子，身上有太多我朋友的影子，一样的多愁善感，一样的温柔似水。而我终于遗憾的知道，他今天才明白他一直都爱着她。
他其实就是喜欢她这种类型的女孩子，当时以为的两个人不爱了，是时间太久了太长了，把爱情给掩盖了。她说现在每每听到刘若英的《后来》，居然会无法克制的流眼泪，想起的是他交往六年的前任女友。
这样的情节不知道是不是也在别处同样上演着？
学生时代的爱情很单纯，进社会以后总想等工作稳定以后再结婚，工作稳定以后又想等有一点积蓄买车子、买房子以后再结婚，等着等着，等到爱情被时光给消磨，等到第三者介入点燃了对方心中激情的火苗，干柴烈火不可收拾以后，曾经在年少一起织梦的理想全都抵挡不了新鲜感的激情，所以琵琶别抱，到最后步入礼堂的都不是在一起同甘共苦、共同经历过苦难和等待的人。
许多女孩子或者是男孩子都想着有房子有车子有金子，有了一切再和心爱的人结婚。
然而现实是，等他有了一切，他就是有价值的单身贵族，他必须要面临的是更多的诱惑，你长久以来的等待与年轻时许下的山盟海誓都难以抵挡排山倒海的诱惑。他大可以选个如花似玉，年轻貌美的女生，也许没有什么工作能力，至少发挥了赏心悦目的功能，一个真正有能力的男人，不会在乎一个女人是否能在他的财富上加乘。
先不要着急否认，也不要拿你们很相爱很相爱来做反驳的理由。
的确，热恋的时候。你们披星戴月地约会，手牵手，不记来时路，是想真心真意走完这一生。你们每天不断地电话，手机短讯，Email，MSN，FB不放过任何一个媒介和平台，只是想多听对方说一句话，多知道对方一点信息。
你们巴不得每分每秒腻在一起，睡的时候你枕着他的胳臂，醒着的时候你盯着他胡子拉碴青青的下巴。你撒娇，搂着他的脖子荡秋千，你耍赖，轻轻一跳双腿盘住他的腰，挂在他身上。
你说，亲我。
你说，要我。
于是没有酒，你人却先醉了。
你心甘情愿地为他洗袜子，熨衣服。素手煲羹。万家灯火，你站在阳台上等他下班回家。喜悦蔓延上来，你觉得这个世界上有一个叫你始终放不下，真好。你说，亲爱的，下辈子你别换名字，那样我找你容易些。
你热烈极了，渴望极了，冲动极了，巴不得把所有美好的东西都给他，只要你有，只要他要。
可是他归要结底还是个普通的男人。别的男人有的优点他有，别的男人的缺点他一样也不少。情到深时人孤独，你明明是和他一起，可是你还是不能确定他的心里眼里想的念的全部是你。他和别的女人有说有笑，你的心开始一点点冰冷。因为那些笑容和眼神曾经专属于你。你开始失眠，一点小事情都草木皆兵患得患失。
你开始翻他的通话记录，你寻找蛛比马迹他晚归的嫌疑，你庸人自扰，你自讨苦吃，你终于被自己打败。
他不再关心你没有胃口，不再为你有心事而著急，不再担心你的房租不够，不再因为你淋雨而担心你生病。你和他说过无数情话的电话，再也不响了。
情到浓时情转薄。你试探，你纠缠，你挽留，你终于逼他亲口和你说出对不起。
下一句，是分手。
下一站，是再见。
他说我们分手吧。你说给我个理由。他说如果你实在想要，那我给你编造一个。
于是你哭了。你的眼泪再也不能灼烫他的心了。他面无表情地看着你，他说我走了。终于他渐渐消失在你的视线以外。
你瞬间崩溃。这一次，你知道，他是说真的了。你知道，你终于失去了他。
然后的事情呢？就是拼命想他的坏，他的无情，他不讲卫生，他睡觉咬牙打呼噜说梦话，他没有情趣，他开车喜欢闯红灯说话喜欢带脏字，他从来不把你介绍给他的朋友和家人，他是骗子，是情种，他带你上天堂又推你下地狱。
可是，你和他终究是分开了，他以后会喜欢谁，会在谁的床头沉睡，又会娶了谁，跟你，一点儿关系都没有了！
如此的全心全意的爱，都经不起长久时光的冲刷，何况是爱的不够的呢？所以说，恋爱谈的愈长，结婚的可能性就愈低，有时候恋爱的长度与结婚的可能性成反比。
遇上对的人，莫等待莫蹉跎，也许没有房子没有车子，只要他认真上进，他就是张有潜力的积优股，早点进场获利更高。
结婚要趁早，别让爱情等太久，把真爱都磨掉了！
Just a quick summary, this post is talking about how time kills love and wedding. To me, this post is true as well as rubbish.
Yup. To a big extend I do agree one shouldn’t look for the material terms before thinking to get married. Most people out there will only considered getting married until both of their financial is stable. There is nothing wrong with it seriously, in a realistic world that we are living. Getting married without money sounds romantic but it is digging your own grave.It is just expensive to get married nowadays and most girls out there will want a romantic wedding. The more thing you want in weddings, the more you have to pay. Of course, I know you can loan these money from banks and trust me, unless the husband is willing to spend this money, if not it will become a future quarrel issue.
That’s why I got pissed to see someone shared the above essay. Love is not a one sided thing. When love cools down, it is never the fault of one party. Just like it takes two hands to clap, it takes two to maintain a relationship as well. I agree small quarrel is a way of communication but frequent big quarrels is an indication that there is a problems somewhere.
Woman always like to blame the man to love someone. I dun deny that as man are really visual animals in general but that doesn’t mean woman is totally right. When love start to cool down, woman must always heat it up. That’s why sometimes I purposely don’t learn how to cook. If a woman can do housework, cook and take good care of a man. You are nothing but his mum. You see you have a whole lifetime to do all these. Why quickly learned them all and master them? Man like woman with surprises, not woman who is predictable. That’s the reason even if I know how to do some things, I choose not to do them now. I always keep myself looking pretty when going out with Kk. This is self respect, woman please don’t give excuse to yourself not to look good for the sake of your family. You must always remember if you are not attractive anymore, there will always be other woman who sleep with your husband and replace your position.
Back to the wedding issue… The longer one is in a relationship, the less likely one will get married is just bullshit. To me, it is just an excuse for one party to tell you that I am sick of you. I am not someone who is supportive or against premarital sex. But I am against long term cohabit especially both parties do not have the intention of getting married in the near future (6 months). 3 months of cohabit should let both parties know if they are suitable to live with each other. Anything more becomes no different like married life, just that you do not need to divorce if one become sick of this life.
Kk and me dated 6 years before getting married. Actually I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to married him after 3 years dating. I didn’t really think of it because I was 22 year old then and I wasn’t ready to have the responsible as a wife. Kk respected me a lot and was always waiting for me. That’s his silent love for me though I always hope that he could be more caring and attentively but I think sometimes when I think about it. This is just another kind of love. It is not those passion love but if he doesn’t love me, he really do not need to wait for me. That’s why I dun agree being in relationship too long will be less likely to get married.
The one rule Kk and me agreed was not to cohabit, of course we still go and short trips but we never once cohabit because my family is traditional and believed good girls shouldn’t stay overnight. I respected my parents for this though I don’t agree. But when I look at things now, I think it is good because Kk will appreciate the time with me and now learning how to do things together is fun. We try to work things out and after one year of marriage, everything is still fine. It is our 7th year together but we always make an effort to watch movie whenever we can.
Sometimes, it is these simple things that work things out. When there is a problem, don’t run away. No problems will be solved if you run away. One cannot run away forever, don’t wait until it is too late then face the problem. Good luck to all poor souls.
