My Birthing Story – Baby A

The EDD of #BabyA is actually 25th August but ever since I hit week 38, I am actually hit by back and pelvis pain. His weekly scan also keep bringing me bad news that he is getting bigger no matter how I eat.

I actually decided to go on Scheduled Cesarean Section via Epidural on week 38 as #BabyA was estimated to be 3.4kg with a big head and body. My gynaecologist also told me that #BabyA got an increased risk of shoulder dislocation. #BabyA on the other hand was still happy inside my tummy, no dilation and my amniotic fluid also sufficient. My gynaecologist say I could still wait provided if the baby does not go any bigger. He also think I might have chances that induction won’t be work well since I am not dilating at all.

Hence, I scheduled a Cesarean Section on the 19th August (Week 39, Day 2) at 8am.

4.00am: Alarm Rang
4.30am: Bathed (Since I won’t be bathing for at least a few days until I am back home)
4.45am: Set off to the hospital

Although my delivery time is at 8am but the hospital ask us to reached by 5.30am. I was also on no food request so I am feeling super hungry.

5.00am: Reaching Hospital and raining heavily. (Seems like telling me to rethink my decision of Cesarean Section)
5.39am: Checked in to my room
6.40am: Nurses came in to prepare me.
6.44am: Changed to my operation gown and use enema to clear my poop out.
6.51am: Finished pooping from enema. Feeling exhausted and took a small nap.
7.05am: Pushed to the recovery room. Starting to feel a bit scared as this is the first time I am hospitalized and sleeping in the bed and being push around. It is really not the best feeling.
7.20am: Wheeled to operation theater for my epidural.
7.30: Kk was outside the recovery room to go in the operation theater.
7.40am: Anaesthetist couldn’t find the area to inject so advise me to go General Anesthesias when I will be totally knocked out and Kk couldn’t come in for the delivery. I ask him to try again but still fail so end up can only go ahead with General Anesthesias.
Nearly 8am: Gynaecologist suddenly leave for another more urgent patient since I was scheduled and anesthesias was administered so I was asked to wait.
8.20am: Gynaecologist came back and I was immediately KO.
8.59am: Kk witness #BabyA for the first time

I can’t remember the exact time but all I can remember is the nurses keep waking me up and tell my the operation was over but I was feeling pain and drowsy so I couldn’t open my eyes. I went back to sleep until a while later another nurse try to wake me up. I tried my best to open my eyes and they wheeled me back to my room.

I was semi awake then. I remember Kk waking me up when I was in the room. He said, “Thank you.” He gave me a kiss on my head and told me baby is very healthy and loud.

11.21: Baby wheeled to me. I can’t believe he is just so small.


Honestly, I was scared when I have to deliver via General Anesthesias. All along I thought I will be delivering via natural so when I have to make a decision to deliver via Cesarean Section. I was a bit scared but I feel that’s the best way to ensure #BabyA was safe. I don’t mind suffering and I don’t want to regret not delivering via Cesarean Section in case shoulder dislocation happen. I feel like crying in the operation theater when the Anaesthetist told me that he couldn’t find a good spot to inject the epidural. My next thinking was it must have been scary for Kk too. Since he was prepare to welcome our son together only to find out that he cannot go in since I was going to be delivering via General Anesthesias.

I am not sure when but I think I somehow woke up during the operation and all I felt was pain and went back unconscious. I remember feeling the pain before I was totally awake. It was the worst pain feeling of my life, it was really very painful that I can’t describe.

But now #BabyA is out, I am thankful even though it didn’t exactly go the way I imagine but still I am glad everything came out well. He did not have much problems preventing him from the hospital discharge. I am thankful for that.

Letter to #BabyA

Dear Baby A,

The 2nd time I see you and the 1st photo of you with daddy carrying you

Not sure when will you be reading this entry. We have actually decided on your name but we are not sure if we would want your name to be on the internet. The world outside is not a very safe place and I hope that you will grow up in a free and happy environment. I was hoping to keep your growing up log here if possible so I decided to just name you BabyA when I am addressing you in public.

I wanted to write to this letter to you on day 7 but I guess I really underestimate the recovery time from delivering you and taking care of you despite I have daddy and Confinement Auntie to help me with you.

From the day I know you existed, I was always tired and nausea. That wasn’t the worst part of the pregnancy. At 20 weeks, gynecologist gave us a fright that you might not be a healthy baby. I prepared for the worst that I might need to give you up. I didn’t dare to keep a record of your presences because I didn’t want to be too attached to you. Luckily, you managed to pass all the test and everything was just a false alarm. When I finally got better and thought I could enjoy the perks of being pregnant, you gave me gestational diabetic and I can only take healthy food. Even at week 39, you grew too big that gynecologist said that you have an increased risk of shoulder dislocation. Hence on 19th August 2016 (Friday), we decided to deliver you via Epidural Cesarean Section but you still decided to come out on your way via GA csect.

Daddy Feeding mummy as mummy couldn’t move after Cesarean Section.

When mummy just gave birth to you, I couldn’t move much because of the pain from Cesarean Section. Daddy handled everything from the announcement of your birth to taking care of the bed-ridden mummy.

Last photo from my room before discharged.


After mummy discharge from hospital, Daddy has been helping me a lot whenever he is around so that mummy is less stressful with you. Mummy broke down a few times when I couldn’t stop you from fussing and crying. Daddy took over like a man and pacified you and ask mummy to take a break from taking care of you. They always say how good a man is depend on how he behave after his wife’s delivery. People always say how mummy sacrifice her life but rarely did others give credits about how a responsible daddy sacrifice his too. I hope you will grow up to be a great man like your daddy. 

Lastly, by the time you grow up, you might not remember the auntie who takes care of you when mummy was recovering. As of now, she actually carry you more than mummy do as I couldn’t carry you too much. When you fuss and refuse to sleep, she coaxed you to sleep. I hope you will be nicer to her and treasure her before she leave you at the end of mummy’s confinement. Mummy is feeling a bit reluctant for her to leave as she is a great help to me and she cooks good food for me so I could give you my best milk to your growth.


Mummy decide to create an Instagram for you. You can browse it as I will be recording your presence ever since you are in my stomach. I will be posting on your photo updates more often there.

6 Goals for 2016

Initially, I didn’t want to post this out since after I finish drafting something major happened that was out of my expectation and does affect some of my goals this year but nevertheless I will still blog it out since I spend some time to write

1. Passed my JLPT N4

I have always love Japan and its culture. (Not so much its working life.) I came into decision that I will retake my Japanese Language at Ikoma after researching online and find that they are nearer to what I wanted. I am weaker in my grammer and many reviews online said they are more grammer orientated. My decision to go back to study amaze many people since now most people are more Korea orientated.

I took JLPT N5 last December so I would like to clear the next level (which is N4) this year. I am so anxious to brush up my Japanese language is because I wanted to stay in Japan for 2 weeks to 1 month in 2017 so I need to brush up my Japanese language to be able to live there.

2. Get a driving license
Getting a license in Singapore is really not necessity in Singapore. I don’t think I can afford a car and Singapore’s transportation is quite convenient. But since my brother manage to get it, I figured out why shouldn’t I get one as a form of challenge to myself this year.

3. Live a healthier live
I have failed many years wanting to slim back to 49kg but it seems like an impossible task for me. I think if I can be healthier to do exercise more often and drink more water. This is also good attempt for me. I want to slim a bit also because it is getting hard for me to get clothes outside. Maybe time for me to ask Kk find a job at the western countries if not I will not have any clothes to wear. In addition, I am often sick last year which I suspect had something to do with me not being healthy.

4. Find a job
I am quite clear what I want to do this time round but without money, talk is just cheap. I decide to find a job and earn some money to chiong again when the time comes and not live by my almost non existence saving and Kk’s money. We have big plans to save and go overseas next year.

5. Cook at least twice a week

This should be easy and I am just continuing what I am doing now. Recently become lazier because the coffee shop around my place opened so we usually take away when I am lazy to cook. But since I am going back to work, I try to challenge myself to do this twice a week.

6. Blog more often

I blogged 3 times last year!! It is such a waste of money. Just as I am about to be able to earn enough to cover my hosting I slack off. I need to blog much more to make this less wasteful. Cynthia still ask me go event but sometimes I a bit pai seh to go because my blog is laterally death. I feel a bit bad sometimes that I feel like I am those lau auntie go event and con free gifts. I still love beauty stuff and I don’t buy less despite not blogging so I shouldn’t waste it.

Move on…

3 months is not a short time but it is not easy for me to pull the hand brake. I read from somewhere that really is interesting and describe on my situation now.


(Love coffee doesn’t mean one should open a cafe.)


(Like to shop for clothes doesn’t mean one must sell them)


(Interest and ability is really 2 different thing.)

I love buying things and I know how to get stuff at a cheaper price. I love fashion too. But I don’t have the ability to sell them. That’s my problem. This person further elaborate that if one don’t have the ability then one is just wasting hard earned money. This is pretty much what I am doing for this 3 months. She recommend to work related field and learn the ability.

That’s why I move on. It is not easy but I have to close my shop because business is not all about guts only. The business can’t self substain. I am going to liquidate all the clothing. For a start will put up the clothing on racks and sell and a cheap price like $5 or $10. In the meantime take photos of the clothing and sell online. Lastly still cannot clear, donate it off. I will be finding a related field job next year. As I got 2 major long holiday I need to get and I don’t to be unfair to the job.

Thank you for everything

I guess death is closer than what I thought it would be.

This photo was taken on my 21st birthday. I am not someone who will post strange photo of myself. I couldn’t bring myself to delete this photo then and it was too funny. This was some of my first few album of photo where I first uploaded to Facebook.

The reason why I decided to blog about him was because he passed away yesterday. I was quite upset then. I thought Kk was lying but he was not. How I wish everything was just a joke or a mistake but my heart sank when I was confirmed.

He was a special friend to me. I dun have any uncle friends before him. To me, he was really an uncle. But unlike normal uncle who preached and complained a lot. He was different and funny, maybe a bit crazy. He is really a youngster by heart living in an uncle body. He taught me a lot during my attachment, some tips and tricks on how he work that I don’t know then. As I was naive then, he like to talk dirty with me but most of the time I just don’t get his dirty joke. Yet he finds it funny. This also make me less worried for my attachment.

I went back for holiday job and worked another month with him. It was one the most enjoyable times of my life where I really know more about how things work on site. I worked Tuas then, he arranged a supervisor to bring me to work daily. He ensure I was well fed. It was years later that I know the free lunch I had wasn’t free. He treated me lunch for the whole month because he knew I was poor.

I can go on and on talking about him. One thing I only did for him is call him personally and wish him a Happy Birthday on his every birthday. He told me that he like people calling instead of messaging. He said he appreciates the thoughts that was put into wishing him Happy Birthday.

Many things happen which makes me less close to him. I don’t want to go in detailed what happened. Unhappy things should just be left in the past. You will always be remembered especially on your birthday on 30 September! Rest in peace.

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